North Korea, Best Korea!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize