yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
