Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
