i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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