So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
