the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
