I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
