my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize
