yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
