the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
