I didn't shave. On purpose
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
