I think I am morally bankrupt
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
