Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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