Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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