Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize