ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
