just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
