Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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