The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
