theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
