Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
this hospital has no fireball
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
