I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
