Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
