Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
