You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
