From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
