the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
