I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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