I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
