people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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