Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
