will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
