Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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