You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
