doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
