You work out of a Hotel?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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