"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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