I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my shit smells like andre
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
