i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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