lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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