So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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