"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I could make wine with my vomit
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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