i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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