it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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