so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
