She is in my trunk
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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