He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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