I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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