I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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