I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
