i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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