I heard we made out
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Randomize
