She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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