I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
