I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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