somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
