if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
