I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
