Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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