Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize