Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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