I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
