2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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