I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What a dumb baby whore.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
